Hank's Revenge
by Jemascola
Summary: This is the sequel to Bill's New Wife. Hank comes up with a way to get Peggy to live with him again.
1. Plotting

Hank's Revenge

Chapter 1: Plotting

Hank Hill was very furious at this point. He sat impatiently in his office at a propane store called Strickland Propane. Hank looked out his window and watched the other employees selling propane and propane accessories. Hank was the assistant manager of Strickland Propane, and he was very proud of his job. Hank looked up at the clock on the wall behind him. It was 4:59 pm. He had one minute left before his boss, Mr. Buck Strickland, would let him leave the office. Hank sat at his small brown desk with a million receipts and contracts from propane customers. Hank's office had panel wood walls and a gray filing cabinet. Behind him was also a map of Texas, Mexico, and the surrounding areas.

Hank had no other work to do, so he took off his thick, square rimmed glasses and wiped them with his pale blue collared shirt. Most of the employees wore pale blue shirts at Strickland Propane. Mr. Strickland, however, was usually seen wearing a white collar shirt with a blue necktie and a black suit. Hank put his glasses back on, and he scratched his thick brown hair. Hank was fortunate to still have a full head of hair while in his early 40's. Two of his friends, Bill Dauterive and Dale Gribble were not so lucky, though.

Hank heard the clock click to 5:00, so he got up and began to leave the office. Boy was he in a hurry to leave. He was so angry with his wife, Peggy. Peggy had lately wanted to make out with Hank, but their son, Bobby, accidentally kicked Hank in the groin when Hank was teaching Bobby self-defense. As a result, Hank was still sore from the accident, and he could not make out with Peggy. Peggy did not like that, though, and it just so happened that Bill Dauterive had a crush on Peggy. He came over to the Hills' house one night to see Peggy, and they made out. What Hank found even more disgusting was that his niece, Luanne Platter, and even Bobby were sleeping in bed with Bill and Peggy. Hank chased Bill over to his house and beat him up. However, Peggy chose to stay with Bill at his house since Hank was not "useful in bed". Ever since the day Peggy walked into Bill's house, Hank had been feeling very disgusted.

Hank left his office and entered the showroom, which was a rather small room with red carpet and panel wood walls. There was a main desk in the back. Throughout the little room, there were several propane grills setup for display. Next to the entrance, an American flag hung. Just as Hank was about to leave Strickland Propane, he heard Mr. Strickland speak to him. "Ah, ah, ah, Hank, don't leave just yet. I've got one more thing for you to do," he said. Hank turned to face Mr. Strickland, who had balding gray hair.

"Yes, Mr. Strickland?" Hank asked.

"Hank, could you take those bad propane tanks to the dump?" Mr. Strickland asked, pointing to a stack of three propane tanks in the corner of the store. "Joe Jack's delivering some tanks, so he can't do it right now, and I need those tanks out immediately."

"Sure, Mr. Strickland," Hank said. Hank walked to the back of the store and got a blue hand truck. He loaded the propane tanks onto it and rolled the tanks outside. Hank took the ramp, which was next to the stairs. Hank rolled the hand truck to his red Ford F-150 pickup truck. It was a very large truck with all the new bells and whistles. He'd bought it as a replacement for his old Ford Ranger, which got totaled in a train wreck.

Hank loaded the propane tanks into his truck, and then he rolled back the hand truck into the store. "See you later, Hank," Mr. Strickland said.

"Bye, sir," Hank said, shutting the door. He then got into his big truck and started the engine. The truck roared as it started, and it growled as Hank stepped on the accelerator. That truck sure had loads of power! Hank left Strickland Propane and headed off several miles to the dump. He took a lonely country road and traveled very quickly along the way. He couldn't wait to get back home so that he could unwind with his friends. He had to tell them how angry he felt about Peggy. Maybe that would make him feel better.

Hank got to the dump and saw its rickety wooden fence and wooden sign that said, "Jenson's Refuge". Hank drove his truck into the dump and stopped it when he got to a pile of propane tanks that had accumulated. He shut off the power to the truck, and everything suddenly got much quieter. Hank unloaded the three propane tanks and placed them near the pile. Then, he got back in his truck and started it. He then drove back to the neighborhood to be with his friends.

TIME LAPSE 30 minutes later

"Yep," Dale said.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer mumbled. He then looked over the fence where they stood out. It bordered Hank's property. Boomhauer saw Hank coming out of his house and heading to the alley to talk to them. "Hey-man, here-come-dang-ol'-Hank, man," Boomhauer said quickly.

Hank stormed over to the guys. Dale had his usual orange cap, which covered his balding reddish brown hair. He had shiny sunglasses, which he almost never removed in public. Dale had his usual brown shirt on and blue jeans. A half-smoked cigarette dangled from his mouth. Boomhauer wore his black shirt and blue jeans, which he also seemed to wear just about every day of the week. Boomhauer had a serious face and blonde hair.

"Hey, Hank, you're here," Dale said. "Let's start the conversation over, Boomhauer," Dale said.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer said.

"Yep," Dale said.

"Yep," Boomhauer said.

"Yep," Dale said.

"You-dang-ol'-already-said-dang-ol'-yep, man," Boomhauer said.

"Guess it's my turn," Hank said. "Yep," he said, sounding irritated.

"What's the matter with you? Still mad about Peggy?" Dale asked.

"No, Dale, I'm mad because the sky is blue," he said sarcastically. "OF COURSE I'M MAD ABOUT PEGGY!" he shouted.

"Dang-ol'-Bill-man-got-dat-dang-ol-Peggy, man," Boomhauer said.

"What I don't understand is that Peggy and I have been married over 20 years, and I have a good, strong body. I'm assistant manager of Strickland Propane and helped raise Bobby. I just don't understand why Peggy would go to Bill. I mean, he's almost bald, he always wears an undershirt in public, he's an Army barber, and he got a divorce. Plus, he's never had any kids. I just don't understand why Peggy would choose Bill over me. I can't help it if I'm not in the shape to make out. She should be more understanding about that," Hank said.

"Hank, Peggy's just looking for a little fun in her life right now. She's a substitute teacher for goodness sakes. She's stressed out and tired, she needs a break," Dale said. "But I can help you get her back," Dale said.

"It's a good thing that Bill doesn't come to the alley anymore," Hank said. "I'd beat him up even more for stealing my wife!"

"Don't worry, Hank. We'll get your Peggy back. TO THE BUG-A-BAGO!" shouted Dale.

Minutes later, Hank, Boomhauer, and Dale were inside Dale's bug-a-bago. The bug-a-bago was basically just a utility van that had a large fake insect mounted to the roof. On the sides, it also said, "Dale's Dead Bug", which was the company that Dale owned and worked for.

"Gentlemen, we will first begin this operation by capturing Bill," Dale said. "We'll sneak inside his house when he's at work, and when he gets back, you guys will grab him and hold him down while I tie him up. Then, we lock him in his closet while Hank rescues Peggy and takes her back home. Then, mission accomplished."

"That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Hank said. "I'm going to handle this on my own," Hank said, leaving the bug-a-bago.

"Sure, reject my plan, but you'll be back!" snapped Dale. "Besides, whether you like it or not, Boomhauer and I are going to execute my plan anyways!"

"You do that, Dale. I've got my own ideas…" Hank said. Hank went back home to unwind for the rest of the evening.


	2. Love is Always Around

Chapter 2: Love is Always Around

Hank was sitting on the sofa watching the news when Bobby came into the living room. "Hey, Dad, what do you think of my new shoes?" he asked.

"Let me see," Hank said, peering down at Bobby's shoes. He looked startled at first when he saw that Bobby was wearing Peggy's blue high-heels. "Bobby, why are you… never mind, maybe I don't want to know," Hank said, shaking his head.

"I think they look cool, Dad," Bobby said.

"Bobby, _men don't wear women's shoes_! _Especially on purpose_!" Hank said. "Where did you ever get the interest to like this stuff?"

"I dunno," Bobby said frankly.

"Hey, Bobby, can you go outside and see if Dale is still outside," Hank said. "If he is, ask him what Nancy is up to. I've got something I need to talk to her about in here."

"Sure, Dad," Bobby said. He went outside and looked in the alley. There stood Dale and Boomhauer. Bobby walked closer to Dale and Boomhauer. He heard them saying, "Yep" and, "Mm-hmm".

Bobby walked up to the guys. "Well hello, Bobby," Dale said.

"Yo, what-up, man?" Boomhauer said.

"Hi, Mr. Gribble. Hello, Mr. Boomhauer. I just came to ask Mr. Gribble what Mrs. Gribble is up to. My dad wants to know," Bobby said.

"Nancy's in the hot tub in the back," Dale said.

"My dad wants to talk to her about something inside," Bobby said.

Dale ran over to the fence where his house was. "NANCY! HANK WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING!" Dale called.

"Just a minute, sug," Nancy said from the back. A moment later, Nancy came out from the backyard. She was in a red bikini. Her long, blonde hair was a little bit wet from being in the hot tub. Then, she and Bobby went back to Hank's house. "Hi, sug, what's up?" Nancy said.

Hank turned his head from the news and looked stunned when he saw Nancy. She was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. "Uh… uh… Bobby, go to your room until further notice," Hank said, looking for an excuse to be alone with Nancy.

"Why, Dad?" asked Bobby.

"Dang it, just do it!" Bobby ran off to his room and shut the door. Hank turned to Nancy. "I'm still mad about Peggy," Hank said.

"I know, sug. It must be hard for you that she dumped you for Bill," Nancy said.

"Say," Hank said, looking up and down at Nancy, "I noticed that you just came out of the hot tub. Why don't you dry off?"

"All right," Nancy said. "Where's the bathroom?"

"I'll show you," Hank said, leading her to the bathroom. Nancy went in and dried off.

"Well, it's getting late, sug. I'd better be going back home before Dale wonders what I'm doing here for so long," Nancy said.

"Uh, wait just a minute. I've got something to show you real quick," Hank said. Nancy shrugged and followed Hank. Hank led her into his bedroom. Hank got in bed and patted the side as a gesture for Nancy to get in.

"Sorry, sug. I already cheated on Dale for 14 years with John Redcorn. I'm not about to do it again," she said, leaving the house.

"Aw, dang it!" Hank said. He got out of bed and went back to the living room. "Okay, Bobby, you can come out of your room, now," he said.

Bobby came out and sat on the sofa with Hank. "Hey, Dad, what did you want to talk about with Mrs. Gribble?" he asked.

"Nothing, Bobby, don't worry about it," Hank sighed. He stared at the TV screen wondering how he would ever get Peggy back or even if he could get her back.


	3. Jealous

Chapter 3: Jealous

Peggy and Bill were sitting on the couch in Bill's living room. Peggy really started to like Bill, although she couldn't help feeling sorry for Hank. "You know, Bill, I wonder how Hank is handling this?" she wondered.

"Oh, he's probably jealous that I am sexier than he is," Bill chuckled.

"I think he's probably mad at me for dumping him. I'd better go back before he does something stupid to get vengeance," Peggy said.

"Oh, that's nonsense," Bill said. "You just stay here, and we can keep each other company forever and ever." He gazed deeply into Peggy's eyes. Peggy was hypnotized and began to stare into Bill's eyes as well.

Meanwhile, Dale and Boomhauer were in the bug-a-bago. They were preparing to rescue Peggy from Bill. They were now going over the checklist.

"Rope," said Dale.

Boomhauer held up the rope. "Dang ol' check, man," he said.

"Key to Bill's closet," said Dale.

"Dang ol' check," Boomhauer said.

"Alamo beer?"

"Dang ol' check," Boomhauer said, holding out the beer.

"Good," Dale said. "Now we've just got to wait for Bill and Peggy to leave for work. Then, we sneak inside Bill's house and hide. When Bill comes back, BAM! We tie him up and lock him in the closet and tell Peggy that Bill was kidnapped by the government for an autopsy," Dale said.

Boomhauer stared at Dale in disbelief. "Dale-man, talkin' bout never knew you-be weird, man," he said. "Dang ol' do it yourself, man." Boomhauer left the bug-a-bago.

"Wait! Boomhauer, come back! Please!" yelled Dale. But Boomhauer paid no attention to Dale. He headed back to his house. "Aw dang it. Guess I'll have to do this dirty job myself," Dale said, getting in the front seat of the bug-a-bago. He then watched as Bill and Peggy left the house and got in the car and drove off. "Excellent timing," Dale said. "Now I must sneak over unnoticed." Dale then put a fake bush over his body and slowly walked across the street to Bill's house. When nobody was looking, he tossed off the disguise and opened the door to Bill's house with the key. Dale sneaked inside and went off to hide and wait for Bill and Peggy to return…

Meanwhile, Hank was at work. He could not concentrate on his job, though, because he did not know how he could get Peggy back. He thought and thought. "Gah, there's got to be somebody I can pretend to date," he said to himself. "Let's see… what are the possibilities? Mihn? No, she'd never go along with it, and Kahn would never let me hear the end of it. Lenore? Nope, Bill would get mad at me. Wait a sec… that's just what I want! Not only would Peggy get jealous, but Bill would get mad at me! It's perfect revenge! Now if I could just get Lenore to go along with it," Hank said.

Later that day, Hank got home from work. He went to the kitchen and dialed Lenore's number. "Hello?" Lenore said on the other line.

"Uh… hello, Lenore. This is Hank Hill. Remember me? Bill's friend," he said.

"Oh yes, I think I remember you," Lenore said. "What do you want?"

Hank began sweating. "Uh… sure is lovely weather we're having lately," he said, desperately trying to change the subject.

"What is it that you really want? I know you're hiding something," Lenore snorted.

"Well… here goes," Hank said. "You see, Peggy dumped me for Bill, and I was wondering, just to get back at both Peggy and Bill, if you'd… I dunno… pretend to be my… date," said Hank. "There I said it," sighed Hank.

There was no response on the other line for a few seconds. Then Lenore said, "This _is_ just a fake, right?"

"Oh, yes, yes!" Hank said. "Just want to get back at Peggy and Bill."

"Well… all right. I'll see you tomorrow," Lenore said. "We hug and make out in front of Bill and Peggy like we really mean it. See you tomorrow," Lenore said in a tempting voice.

"Bye," Hank said, hanging up the phone. "SCORE!" he yelled.

"What happened, Dad?" Bobby asked. He came into the kitchen from his bedroom. "Did the Cowboys make a touchdown?"

"Bobby, the football season doesn't start for another 2 months yet," Hank said. "I just yelled score cause uh… I sold a bunch of propane," he lied.

"Right on, Dad. Keep it up," Bobby said, doing a strange little dance. He shook his butt in the air and waved his fingers around his head. He stuck his tongue out and made strange noises.

"Okay, Bobby, that's enough. No offense, but you look like an idiot," Hank said. Bobby quit and went back to his room. Hank went to the living room to watch TV.


	4. Hank and Lenore

Chapter 4: Hank and Lenore

The next day had come quickly, and Hank waited in the kitchen for Lenore to show up. This day was better than Hank planned, as Bill and Peggy were in Bill's front lawn doing yard work. Hank just had to wait for Lenore, and then he could put his plan into action.

Just then, Lenore showed up in her car. "Hello, Hank," she said. She was wearing a sexy, revealing black dress. Hank got very excited. Peggy had never excited him in such a way before. Hank wondered if he could make this more than just an attempt to get mad at Bill.

"Hello, Lenore," Hank said loudly. "You're looking very pretty today."

"Well, thanks, Hank. I always love a compliment," said Lenore.

Bill and Peggy shot angered looks at the two of them. "This is why I'm not with Lenore anymore, and this is why _you're_ not with Hank anymore," Bill said.

"Gimme a hug, Hank!" Lenore said. Hank hugged her very hard. Then, he kissed her for a long time. Finally, Bill had enough of it.

"All right, that's it!" shouted Bill. "Peggy, we're through! Lenore, come over here and give your old man a hug!"

Lenore let go of Hank and drove off. "Wait! Lenore…" Bill called after her. He chased her car down Rainey Street, and was not seen for a while afterward.

"Oh, Hank, I'm sorry for leaving you," Peggy said. "But WHY did you hug that woman?" she snapped.

"To get you back," Hank said. Then, the two of them hugged and went back inside.


	5. Bill Gets Married

Chapter 5: Bill Gets Married

Hank and Peggy had been back together for the past two weeks. Bill joined the gang back in front of the fence for beers, and everything seemed to be back to normal again.

"Yep," Hank said.

"Yep," Dale said.

"Yep," Bill said.

"Mm-hmm," Boomhauer muttered.

"So, Bill… any new dates?" Hank asked.

"As a matter of fact… yes, Hank," Bill smiled.

"Oh, that's nice. Who's the girl?" Dale said. Then, Bill whistled, and Luanne walked up to Bill.

"What? Your girlfriend is Luanne?" gasped Hank.

"Nope. We're going to get married in a month," Bill said. He and Luanne hugged. Everyone looked both shocked and surprised. They tried their best to put on a happy face for Bill.

The next month, everyone on Rainey Street went to Bill's wedding. The minister asked, "Do you, Bill Dauterive, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Bill said.

"And do you, Luanne Platter, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she said.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the minister said. Bill kissed Luanne, and carried her down the aisle. Then, they drove from the church and went back to Rainey Street to start their new life together.

The End


End file.
